He had always been good with guitars. It’s a natural talent that got me caught up in his bittersweet world. Whenever I see him play, it’s like my whole universe melts away and all I could see is him. He’s like a musical god projecting a soul full of passion and love. Clearly, he has entranced me so deeply that I would always get all flushed up just by looking at him. There’s something in his eyes when he strums – some kind of intensity, some kind of certainty that even if the world crumbles around him, his music will be the only thing that matters. Knowing that simple fact definitely tugged my heartstrings.
I used to ask him to play for me every time I get the chance to see him holding it. I also asked for guitar lessons but that didn’t turn out to be feasible. You see, we were always busy with school or activities so we didn’t get around much on spending wise time learning how to play. For a little consolation, I tried learning the skill on my own. It didn’t look that hard to do. I mean, it wouldn’t have been that difficult considering I’m from a musical family. My aunts, uncles and cousins all knew how to play and I thought, so could I. Turned out to be time consuming, as well as it required effort and patience. I dropped the hobby in a heartbeat. I guess I could find other means to connect with him.
Then there’s his love for music. I discovered we were into the same genre and I couldn’t have been happier. I like the fact that we had something in common, something to talk about, something to bring us closer. Then it went from mundane discussions to musical debates to exchanging MP3s. It even went as far as sitting close and listening on my player while sharing earphones. I was so into the moment that I can’t help feeling giddy and light and just so happy.
I never expected for this to happen but we eventually became great friends. We got real close and even confided in each other. He always looked out for me like he was protective or something. He actually cared, and I thought, this wasn’t half as bad. I was comfortable with this set-up and I could go on like this forever even if this was the only way I could keep him.
I got caught up in this imaginary trance that I made myself believe that he’s falling for me too. It would just be a matter of time and he’ll realize that I’m the one. Everything seemed to work out perfectly…
Then I died. Not me literally, but something in me.
I realized it wasn’t possible. He’s in love with someone else, and even if I tried every maneuver I could get my hands on to make him notice me, it wouldn’t just be enough. He has already seen me, has taken a peek into my soul and knew what a great girl I am, and yet he never saw past that. To his eyes, I will just be…me.
I used to ask him to play for me every time I get the chance to see him holding it. I also asked for guitar lessons but that didn’t turn out to be feasible. You see, we were always busy with school or activities so we didn’t get around much on spending wise time learning how to play. For a little consolation, I tried learning the skill on my own. It didn’t look that hard to do. I mean, it wouldn’t have been that difficult considering I’m from a musical family. My aunts, uncles and cousins all knew how to play and I thought, so could I. Turned out to be time consuming, as well as it required effort and patience. I dropped the hobby in a heartbeat. I guess I could find other means to connect with him.
Then there’s his love for music. I discovered we were into the same genre and I couldn’t have been happier. I like the fact that we had something in common, something to talk about, something to bring us closer. Then it went from mundane discussions to musical debates to exchanging MP3s. It even went as far as sitting close and listening on my player while sharing earphones. I was so into the moment that I can’t help feeling giddy and light and just so happy.
I never expected for this to happen but we eventually became great friends. We got real close and even confided in each other. He always looked out for me like he was protective or something. He actually cared, and I thought, this wasn’t half as bad. I was comfortable with this set-up and I could go on like this forever even if this was the only way I could keep him.
I got caught up in this imaginary trance that I made myself believe that he’s falling for me too. It would just be a matter of time and he’ll realize that I’m the one. Everything seemed to work out perfectly…
Then I died. Not me literally, but something in me.
I realized it wasn’t possible. He’s in love with someone else, and even if I tried every maneuver I could get my hands on to make him notice me, it wouldn’t just be enough. He has already seen me, has taken a peek into my soul and knew what a great girl I am, and yet he never saw past that. To his eyes, I will just be…me.
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